Barack Obama is Europe’s ideal American. Now that he is President, we love him even more. He is young, black, democratic and good looking; and we celebrate him. We see him as a President that is so European that 102% of all eligible voters would give him our vote too.
The new boss
The anticipation is very big on this side of the world because his European fanclub thinks he will move and rebuild America. The best of both worlds would be that the U.S. becomes a second Europe – with more free parking spaces in front of the supermarkets – and the porn industry gets bigger too.
On Sundays, we used to go to the church of an obscure evangelistic sect and meet later with our dudes to shoot a carton of large caliber ammo – that was yesterday.
This is now
Now, since Obama is the new boss in town, all things are different. Soon millions of Americans give their handguns to the nearest recycling factory, and later demonstrate together for the banishment of creationistic literature.
For me, it seems as the outstanding dude he is, Obama could persuade ingrained republicans of his ideas, even those who would never shake a black man’s hand – unless the tv cameras were rolling.
By no later then two years, the capital punishment will be abolished and pubes are getting the new trend again. “Yes!” yell the Eruopeans, that is a change we can believe in!
My Prediction
Big hope is closely related to US foreign affairs. Since WWII the Americans carried on wars to Korea, Iraq, Vietnam, and Afghanistan. Im sure that Obama, as European-thinking president, will make all things possible that his troops can sheer off from Iraq and Afghanistan. Saddam is dead, and in Kabul the status quo of 1823 is restored again.
Then Obama can do the really important things for his country – making, clearing and discussing all important decisions between the Nato, UNO, EU, Ai or the UEFA. Send all Hedgefnds-managers to Guantanamo. And with all Chiefs of Staff, instead of taking them to another quail shooting, he drives them with an electromobile to the Guggenheim Museum.
Climate Protection
It’s a real hot topic. While many Europeans do their taxi rides with train, or travel on foot to Bibione (Italy), the Americans blow the energy away, regardless of the consequences. Estimated consumption of 25 litres for 100 kilometers is not just a curiosity, especially when you have to drive your overweight kids to the next McDonald’s for a nutritional seminar.
And that is the reason why Obama will sign the Kyoto-contract asap and will call every Friday a US-car-free day. No doubt…or do you?
